Thanks for being so great and putting up with me during this blogging venture of mine. I now have one more favor to ask of you. I'm participating in a bowl-a-thon Decemeber 3rd. I'm looking to raising money up until then to benefit local families. I'm working with Business Leaders of Charlotte and the United Family Services to give Charlotte families necessities for the upcoming holiday season.
I was fortunate enough to grow up in a family that had plenty. We had plenty of love and all of our needs were met. There are many many families out there that are not so fortunate. It's up to us to help those families have the best holiday season possible! By giving a one-time donation you can help the cause. All donation amounts are appreciated. I'm also looking for corporate donors to help out with $50 or more donations.
Last year BLOC donated Christmas presents to a homeless mother of four who was living at the Salvation Army homeless shelter. She was so overjoyed and grateful. It truly is a blessing to bless others. Here's a picture of the mother with three of her children after she received the presents along with two BLOC members:
If you know anyone looking to donate to a good cause this holiday season, please send them my way. Here is the website where donations are accepted: http://blocnbowlevent.bbnow.org/ I can also accept donations in person if you run into me.
Thanks for your help! I'll keep you posted on the progress the fundraiser is making.
I struggle to write this blog because I don't want to attack anyone or call anyone out. I only want to speak about my internal confliction. I've struggled with the idea of Christianity in the United States. There are so many dynamics, denominations and dialects within. Which of these got it right? Which of these are way off base? Which of these have ulterior motives? Which are cults? Which are pyramid schemes?
When I was a child I knew two things for sure. I knew God loves me and Jesus died for me. This was all I needed to know. I didn't care about who my pastor associated himself with. I didn't care what my fellow church members were doing behind closed doors. I only focused on what was true and what was relevant to me.
Christ spoke a lot of the innocence of children. He also spoke about their wisdom. The simple mind of a child is not clouded by corruption, doubt, temptation, selfish ambition or greed. I remember my childhood thoughts; how easy it was to believe.
I thought our faith was supposed to mature as we age and grow. Now I feel like I doubt more and more everyday. I don't doubt the truth. I just doubt the fine print. Do I really need to follow all the rules? With a specific translation of the Bible I can interpret a verse differently to make it fit my wants a little better. I'm choosing to over look the Greek and Hebrew meanings and only look at the English because I like what it means more. There are a million ways to twist the Word of God into whatever we want it to say.
Why is it so easy to forget the truth? God loves me and Jesus died for me. Now that I'm "more intelligent" I have the power to manipulate and challenge what I've always known. Is that really a good thing? It really only puts a wall up. It gives me an excuse to do what I know is wrong.
This is my frustration with American Christianity. We're just so darn "smart" aren't we? We're encouraged to expand and open our minds to all possibilities. That's really great for a lot of aspects of our lives, but faith? Why would we openly doubt the things we know to be true? God loves me and Jesus died for me.
My favorite verse is Romans 13:10. It simplifies life. It says, "Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law." It's our escape. We don't have to fiddle with the small "what ifs." I don't have to debate with the Catholics or the Lutherans about our slightly different biblical interpretation. I know two things to be true. They know two things to be true.
What we believed as children is the truth. We knew right and wrong. We didn't question it. We didn't make up excuses because we were tempted. When children do wrong, they know it. They also know they deserve punishment. We don't do that though. When we do wrong we act like it's someone else's fault, and we don't deserve the blame. Children have more backbone than us.
We are sinful. We don't deserve anything. If we want something we have to work for it in faith and be graciously blessed by God. Our own actions are not enough and never will be. If we do wrong it's our own fault. We deserve punishment. Man up and take it. Then move on and never do it again. These are simple things we believed as children. They're still true. We're just too smart to admit it.
Ok, confession time. At this point in my blog, I went into how American pastors are terrible in a few specific ways. I discussed my doubt and paranoia with American churches, and their overall motives in more detail. Then God said, "Hey, you're a hypocrite. Read what you just wrote. You only need to know two things." So I deleted it, because it really doesn't matter what some pastors are doing. It doesn't matter who's associated. It doesn't matter what my fellow believers are listening to or doing behind closed doors or out in the open. I don't need to call attention to those things. Who cares? I know two things to be true.
I've been struggling for years over this issue. God just resolved it as I wrote this blog. I know two things to be true. I'm tempted to go through and rewrite the beginning when I was conflicted and angry, but it might be good to leave it so you can see God's process too.
I think I just got a new life motto: Who cares? I know two things to be true.
God is pretty cool. What up. Copy right Jesus Christ on that one.
Every week of training so far I've learned something. This week didn't slack on the knowledge building. It did disappoint, however. This week I learned about chafing. I know, yuck. The preconceived notion I had about chafing being only for overweight people was very, very wrong. This crap hurts.
It also stays for days after the run. I got a nice spot under my arm and on my rib cadge. After this awesome experience I decided to do a little research about how to treat and prevent this from happening again.
I found that washing the area then applying petroleum jelly is the best treatment option. If this doesn't help medicated ointments can be subscribed by a doctor.
Prevention can be accomplished by staying dry during workouts and wearing well-fitting clothing made of synthetic fibers. Cotton is the enemy. Talcum and alum powders are a good to apply to areas that risk chafing. The powders help remove moisture.
Hope you learned something from my unpleasantness. You don't want none.
In a nutshell, Week 2 sucked. While I'm seeing a little increase in my physical progress, mentally I'm drained. Running alone for 2 hours is tearfully boring. It's also discouraging. I've been running this same trail several times a week for too long. I think it's time for a change in venue. I'm starting to look up other routes in Rock Hill. I'll see if that helps with my antsiness. I really don't see how the speed walkers do it. I find myself sprinting halfway into the run just so I can be done faster.
I'm also starting to get tired of giving up my afternoons for this. I have to maintain so much discipline during this process. I've always been told that running is 80% mental and 20% physical. I completely believe it now if I've doubted it before.
This journey I've ventured on is turning into a character-shaping one. Who would have thought it? (Ha!) I'll admit, I'm not a marathon or half marathon runner. This will be my first and last. This process is painful, aggravating and draining. I'll finish it because I'm stubborn, but I won't enjoy it.
It sounds like I'm pretty down on running this thing. Here is the recent upside I've found: New cute running shoes and cute workout clothes for fall make me happy. I'll be agonizing in a cute way. TJ Maxx holla at ya girl.
Last night I went to Wine and Design's Media Night. I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but I ended up having a great time. Wine and Design is a franchise based in North Carolina that provides painting classes for individuals and parties. There's also wine involved. In my recent experience, it's a good combination.
Last night I arrived at Wine and Design and got to hang out with the girls that opened the Charlotte location. Not only are these girls beautiful and smart women, but they are also great people who are so excited about their move to Charlotte from Raleigh. After hanging out for a bit and starting on some wine, I put on my smock and prepared my creative juices for the master piece I was about to create.
The instructor was super cute. She talked us threw our painting. First, she showed us an example of our finished product. Then we started through a step-by-step process that lasted about two and a half hours. We started with a pre-drawn canvas. Then we slowly added each layer and dimension from there. It was so exciting to learn about the painting process.
I thoroughly enjoyed my experience at Wine and Design. I plan on returning for another painting soon!
After running 9 miles twice so far this week, I'm starting to feel stronger and more confident that I can finish this thing. My lung strength is no longer an issue. For a while, I was struggling to breath in the last few miles. Now I'm keeping a consistent breathing pattern which allows me to push myself to finish the route with stamina. My previous training is definitely paying off.
All through my training process, I've been running with my dog Phoebe. Since she was a puppy I've been slowly training her to run distance. She's a very happy and high-energy dog, so she really makes a great running buddy. This past run Phoebe struggled. I kept trying to encourage her by using my "Phoebe voice" and clapping my hands to keep her attention.
I'm concerned that even though she's physically capable of running the distance with me, mentally she may not be ready. She's still young. She gets distracted by everything. It's hard to explain to a dog how to push through a tough mile or how to beat the hills. Running is just as much a mental sport as it is physical. I'm nervous she may not be mature enough yet for this. I definitely don't want to force her into something she can't handle.
Another issue I'm running into during my training is low blood sugar. Since I've been running so much, I've been consuming more calories, especially carbs, so I'll have enough energy to burn. There's nothing worse than running a long distance when your hungry. It starts a crazy downward cycle that's very hard to overcome. Therefore, I always make sure I eat a large meal a few hours before my run.
Even though I'm doing my best to keep my body fed, once I start running 9+ miles my body burns a lot of calories. I've used some tools in the past to measure the amount of calories I burn on my runs. I average about 100 calories per mile. That means I burned 900 calories on my run yesterday. That's a lot of energy I need to keep stored up. I'm finding that burning 600-700 calories at a time is not an issue for me. Anything higher than that starts to take a tole.
The thing about low blood sugar is you don't know it's low until it's too late. My grandfather was a diabetic. I watched him suffer through low blood sugar levels. I never understood why he'd feel so miserable when that happened. One minute he'd be sitting on the couch and the next he'd be pale and vomiting. It blew my mind. I'm now understanding this. Of course, my low blood sugar still doesn't even touch a diabetic's. I really feel for those people that live with that terrible disease.
After my runs I typically feel slightly fatigued but over all pretty good. I try to slowly cool down by walking a bit. Then I get in my car to drive home. Once I get in the car, I start to feel the energy being drained out of me. It's a very sudden and terrible process. I've been concerned at times that I won't make it home.
After putting myself through this torture on numerous occasions I finally found the cure: Gatorade. In high school and college I was never a big fan of the high calorie drink. I always got so peeved when I saw someone jog a half mile and then chug a large sports drink. That just seemed ridiculous and over-kill to me. After running for 75 minutes at a medium-fast pace, I'm all for Gatorade. That's when it makes since.
If I immediately drink half a Gatorade after my run, I don't have the sudden drop. It gives me just enough sugar to boost me to my next meal. If I don't eat within 30 minutes of the Gatorade though, things start going south again. The Gatorade is just a temporary fix. Complex carbs are really the best thing I could consume.
So week 1 is now complete. I'm still learning a lot as I go. Hopefully this journey will not only help me accomplish a bucket list goal, but will also help build confidence and character. Three more weeks to go! Wish me luck.
For the next month, I'll be training for my first half marathon. I've done many 5k and 10k races over the years, but I've always shied away from anything more extensive. This is quite silly too because I always have a much higher success rate on races that are a longer distance.
In high school I ran cross country and played softball. I sucked at cross country, pain and simple. The only reason I did it was to keep in shape for softball season. I had little motivation to excel at the sport. It's a real shame too. I haven't picked up a glove or a bat in years, but here I am now running almost every day.
Once I went to college I began running a lot in fear of the infamous "freshman 15." For those unfamiliar with this phrase, its widely known that the majority of freshman gain an average of 15 lbs that first year of college. I was not going to be one of these unfortunate fatties. In fact, I went overboard and actually lost 10 lbs. Once I went home and weighed myself however, I started eating more and continued moderate exercise.
I learned from experience how to correctly train myself to eat right and stay in shape. Now I feel that I have enough knowledge after all the trial and error to attempt something bigger. That's why I'm working toward a 13.1 mile race.
I have exactly a month left to train. Lately, I've been running about 7-8 miles about 5-6 times a week. That's been going well, but I feel like I'm not getting enough rest and recovery time for my body. I'd like to increase my distance a bit too.
Now I'm going to try 9 miles about 3 times a week, then increase this by a mile each week leading up to the race. This week I'll do 9, next week I'll do 10, all the way to race week when I'll attempt 13. I'm really hoping this strategy works out.
I'll keep you guys posted on my training and let you know what's working and what isn't. Wish me luck!
I go through these phases in my life about once a year. I look over what I've been doing and who I've been hanging out with. Then I decide what is productive and good. The rest I metaphorically cut out of my life. I don't plan this annual sweep, but it consistently happens. I guess it's kind of like spring cleaning. Sometimes I have to get rid of clutter and junk that has been building up and holding me back.
I feel this cutting coming soon. I've noticed I've become more observant, critical, cynical and open minded all at the same time. I've looked over what I've accomplished and the areas I've failed.
In the past year I got a dog, finished college, bought a condo, started my first full-time job, learned how to use social media to brand myself, a company and an alumni group, got a roommate, dated boys, broke up with boys, enjoyed hanging with my girls, encountered melodrama, and the list goes on.
What should I count as failures, and what should I count as necessary for growth? What may seem to be a negative thing on the surface, may have encouraged me to build character and confidence. Then on the other end, what may appear to be good and healthy, may be keeping me stuck in a stagnant place.
If you see me making changes and upgrades in the next few weeks, now you know why. I feel a changing coming on. I'm going to take it and run with it. Only God knows where I'll end up, and I'm okay with that.
Alright cyberverse, I've got a rant for you. As a lot of you may know, I'm a girl. (Spoiler alert!) I'm going to speak for all girls for a minute. There are somethings that really creep us out. There are many things men do that creep us out. If you're a man, don't do this:
True Story: I live in a town home community. I love this community because its in a safe area, and there are always lots of people around. I have a roommate. I have a dog. I like taking precautions to maintain my security. Typical girl stuff.
My dog, Phoebe, is the best dog in the world. She doesn't shed, she's super active, and she's super protective of me. However, sometimes Pheebs needs to use the little girls' room before bed time. I try to take her out before the sun goes down for security purposes, but sometimes she drinks too much water and needs an additional visit before we hit the sack.
Last night was one of those evenings where Miss Phoebe needed an extra potty break. So I quickly walk outside with her. There is a small grassy area one unit down from me. I take her there for her "number two" visits.
So Phoebe and I were over in the grass minding our own business, when suddenly Phoebe shoots her ears up and begins to growl. Out of no where three drunk men (like fall over and vomit drunk) where right on us. I'd heard someone talking down the street when I first got out there, but didn't think much of it. Mistake number one.
One of these men was my neighbor. I've never met this neighbor before this encounter. I was needless to say, completely freaked. The three middle-aged men stumbled over to introduce themselves. One also points out my house and says, "You live there right?" That's just awesome.
Keep in mind, its also about 10:30 pm. I'm a girl. I'm alone. It's super dark outside. My dog is growling and barking up a storm. Why would I want to make casual conversation in a scenario like this? I'm sure the men meant no harm, but seriously? Think about how I was approached.
The next thing I do is grab Phoebe, because she's about to attack at this point. (Even my dog knows it's not cool to surprise a girl in the dark like that.) I just stand frozen. The men are about 8 feet away. I smile and try to remain calm. Next, the gentlemen decide they want to pet my foaming at the mouth dog. Genius. They start to close in on me. I back up and try to keep the conversation light.
Fortunately, at the perfect moment, my other neighbor hears my dog having a fit and turns her back light on. This scares the men, and they slowly back off (which makes their intentions look even more sketchy than before). I take this opportunity to wish them a good evening and jet inside.
Of course, now I'm totally freaked out. I tell my roommate about it. She's weirded out too. So the rest of the evening I sit on the couch ready for them to return, and doze in and out of consciousness until the sun comes up. Thanks creepy drunk men. You're a lot of fun.
Hope you enjoyed my rant. I also hope you men learned something. Don't be that guy. That guy sucks.
I've often caught myself looking at others with judgement. We've all done it. The skanky girl in the restaurant or the sloppy drunk guy in public. When I do catch myself in the act of looking down on people, I then reflect on all of the failures of my own life.
I'm a filthy sinner. It's so easy to say that. It's so easy to nonchalantly "admit" you have issues in passing to appear "humble." It's a totally other thing to stop looking at people like they are beneath you.
I've been blessed to have many great friends in my life. A lot of them have had heartbreak, family problems, and multiple other disasters that life tends to bring the best of us. I've watched people fall down and give up during crises that seem too difficult to bare. Knowing their situations, I would never imagine placing judgement on them. So why do it to strangers?
Everyone has issues. Everyone has fallen down. Everyone has done through self-destructive scenarios. That girl in the restaurant with her boobs hanging out of her blouse is acting a certain way for a certain reason. That guy that can't even walk ten steps without falling over due to inebriation has seen tough times at some point in his life. You just don't know what people are going through.
Even if you do know the majority of a bad situation in someone's life, you still can't know exactly how it feels to be in their shoes. Everyone is different. Everyone has unique thoughts and emotions. Only God knows all the ins and outs of things.
I've made life altering mistakes. I've felt like I couldn't return to life as I know it. I've failed miserably. I've seen people judge me. I've seen those condescending glances. I've caught wind of those "we should pray for her" gossip sessions. It's no fun. It'll make you bitter. It'll make you hate. It'll make you fail again.
I've also seen understanding. I've seen empathy. I've seen genuine care and concern. These things helped me pick myself back up. It helped me forgive myself. It helped me move forward. It built up my confidence.
I guess what it comes down to is, do I want to encourage further failure or encourage self-actualization? (Like the Maslow reference? Yeah, this chick went to college.) It's something I'm working on. There's always something.
Have you ever been faced with the entire world and not known what to do with it? I'm sure all early twenties know exactly what I'm talking about.
"What am I going to do with my life?" "Do I have to decided everything right now?" "Holy crap that's a lot of pressure."
I don't know about you, but I'm one of those people that looks at those questions (and last statement) and has all the wrong answers. I know what I don't want to do with my life. I know I need to make a decision at some point. I'm cracking under all of this pressure.
Throughout my life, I've made great decisions...after making all of the wrong ones first. I have to try everything once. I'm terrified I'll miss out on something awesome. For many scenarios, this is not a terrible way to go about it. For making large life choices, this is cataclysmic.
Another crazy aspect of this whole "deciding where to go with life" decision is, I might hurt someone else if I decide wrong. There are many people in my life I care deeply for. I have people that look to me and depend on me. What if I fail? What if I'm not as great as they think I am. How long can I keep up the facade?
People are just people. I try to look at everyone as an attempt at perfection. I understand everyone falls short, but I hope they are at least trying their best to meet perfection in the eyes. Maybe this is the problem. I look at myself this way as well. I try so hard to reach perfection. Sometimes I let myself believe it is achievable.
Failing is a part of being human. It's just so hard to accept failure when it comes to belief, morals, career, friend and relationship choices. Controlling every outcome is impossible. I can try, but then I'll just fail at that too.
I am a conflicted youth. What else is new.
I'll expect feedback in one way or the other. All you wise readers out there, let me get some knowledge.
Just so you guys know, the floors and stairs at Vida Cantina are extraordinarily slippery. I know this because of the ghastly fall that took place yesterday evening during dinner and the Alive After 5 rush. Not only was my ego shattered and destroyed, but my hip, shins, knees and an elbow fell victim as well.
Here's a quick play-by-play. I was upstairs with some new friends shooting a photo shoot for a Vida marketing campaign. I realized I left my keys, credit card and ID with my boyfriend Allen as he dropped me off earlier that evening. (Parking is an arm and a leg at the EpiCentre for those unfamiliar.) After hurrying down the stairs and landing on the last step, I lost my footing. Legs, arms, dress and hair all flew into the air and swiftly landed with a not-so-graceful thud on the floor.
Waiters rushed to help. People turned to view the aftermath. It was awesome. I sit up and fix my hair. I'm ignoring all the "help" in hopes they will all just disappear. I stand up and carefully walk to meet Allen outside. Hips, knees, shins and elbow throbbing.
Once I get back inside and slowly advance to the taunting staircase, I notice low snickers and quiet fingers being pointed in my direction. Again, awesome. So I just run up the stairs. I now realize that there was a great risk of falling again. Fortunately, I made it up alright.
I tell some of the girls what happened. They all felt bad for me and asked if I was ok and other typical courteous remarks. Then, I get a response I wasn't expecting. "You should sue." The girl that said it was clearly joking and laughed even as she said it, but it sparked a thought in my mind.
This is the people we've become. Something happens and we immediately consider our own compensation. I'm not going to start into the typical, "America is wasting away into an evil European country" rant. It just disappointed me is all. I don't care where you live or who you are, kindness is always a good thing. Putting others first, but it sounds so simple.
It's hard to see how not demanding for compensation from a large company is putting others first. Many could argue that a large company can afford it and an individual harmed cannot. This might be true. I'm no wealthy person. If this hip ache turns into a fracture or something more serious than a bruise, I'll have trouble paying the bills for it. A large restaurant could pay up without breaking the bank.
It doesn't matter though. If I file a complaint, someone, an individual, working for this company will be buried in paperwork, blamed for the slick floors, or could potentially lose their job. I need to consider that individual before I consider myself. Odds are, I'll be fine in a few days. If not, I'll suffer through it. Life throws stuff at me sometimes. I just take it and move on. Manipulating others into fixing my problem isn't good character. Challenges make me stronger.
Disclaimer: This was not an extreme situation. Every situation has unique problems and requires unique solutions.
I've been interested in this blogging world for a long time. I found my love for social media in college. I tried out Facebook, Twitter and YouTube. I fell in love with the connections, content and accessibility of the different outlets. Once I got out in the real world, I discovered that true social media geeks had an advantage on me. This advantage is called blogging.
I love to write. Always have. I wrote songs, poetry and short stories in elementary school. Then started (never finished) several novels once I entered high school and college. I've kept a journal. I love getting lost in my own thoughts. It's a way to remove myself from the world for a while.
One thing I never did was share my work with others. I've always thought I was decent at it. I liked my work, but there was always that fear that I was having an "American Idol" moment. Like when contestants very proudly and loudly get on TV in front of celebrities and millions of people to sing there hearts out and completely suck at it. I always wondered where their mothers were. Why did you allow your child to do that? Not cool.
Anyways, back to blogs, I was always fearful that my writing was only good in my mind like those contestants and their pitiful voices. I finally realized that social media is about confidence. If you're going to be good at it, you just have to throw yourself out there and see what people like. So here I go. Here are my first thoughts. Hope you enjoy as I start my journey in the blogging world. Don't be scared to throw constructive criticism my way. I highly encourage it. I'll be the first to admit I have no clue what I'm doing. I'll be good at this one day. You can help me get there. Fingers crossed!
