Have you ever been faced with the entire world and not known what to do with it? I'm sure all early twenties know exactly what I'm talking about.
"What am I going to do with my life?" "Do I have to decided everything right now?" "Holy crap that's a lot of pressure."
I don't know about you, but I'm one of those people that looks at those questions (and last statement) and has all the wrong answers. I know what I don't want to do with my life. I know I need to make a decision at some point. I'm cracking under all of this pressure.
Throughout my life, I've made great decisions...after making all of the wrong ones first. I have to try everything once. I'm terrified I'll miss out on something awesome. For many scenarios, this is not a terrible way to go about it. For making large life choices, this is cataclysmic.
Another crazy aspect of this whole "deciding where to go with life" decision is, I might hurt someone else if I decide wrong. There are many people in my life I care deeply for. I have people that look to me and depend on me. What if I fail? What if I'm not as great as they think I am. How long can I keep up the facade?
People are just people. I try to look at everyone as an attempt at perfection. I understand everyone falls short, but I hope they are at least trying their best to meet perfection in the eyes. Maybe this is the problem. I look at myself this way as well. I try so hard to reach perfection. Sometimes I let myself believe it is achievable.
Failing is a part of being human. It's just so hard to accept failure when it comes to belief, morals, career, friend and relationship choices. Controlling every outcome is impossible. I can try, but then I'll just fail at that too.
I am a conflicted youth. What else is new.
I'll expect feedback in one way or the other. All you wise readers out there, let me get some knowledge.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Friday, July 8, 2011
Slippery When Clumsy
Just so you guys know, the floors and stairs at Vida Cantina are extraordinarily slippery. I know this because of the ghastly fall that took place yesterday evening during dinner and the Alive After 5 rush. Not only was my ego shattered and destroyed, but my hip, shins, knees and an elbow fell victim as well.
Here's a quick play-by-play. I was upstairs with some new friends shooting a photo shoot for a Vida marketing campaign. I realized I left my keys, credit card and ID with my boyfriend Allen as he dropped me off earlier that evening. (Parking is an arm and a leg at the EpiCentre for those unfamiliar.) After hurrying down the stairs and landing on the last step, I lost my footing. Legs, arms, dress and hair all flew into the air and swiftly landed with a not-so-graceful thud on the floor.
Waiters rushed to help. People turned to view the aftermath. It was awesome. I sit up and fix my hair. I'm ignoring all the "help" in hopes they will all just disappear. I stand up and carefully walk to meet Allen outside. Hips, knees, shins and elbow throbbing.
Once I get back inside and slowly advance to the taunting staircase, I notice low snickers and quiet fingers being pointed in my direction. Again, awesome. So I just run up the stairs. I now realize that there was a great risk of falling again. Fortunately, I made it up alright.
I tell some of the girls what happened. They all felt bad for me and asked if I was ok and other typical courteous remarks. Then, I get a response I wasn't expecting. "You should sue." The girl that said it was clearly joking and laughed even as she said it, but it sparked a thought in my mind.
This is the people we've become. Something happens and we immediately consider our own compensation. I'm not going to start into the typical, "America is wasting away into an evil European country" rant. It just disappointed me is all. I don't care where you live or who you are, kindness is always a good thing. Putting others first, but it sounds so simple.
It's hard to see how not demanding for compensation from a large company is putting others first. Many could argue that a large company can afford it and an individual harmed cannot. This might be true. I'm no wealthy person. If this hip ache turns into a fracture or something more serious than a bruise, I'll have trouble paying the bills for it. A large restaurant could pay up without breaking the bank.
It doesn't matter though. If I file a complaint, someone, an individual, working for this company will be buried in paperwork, blamed for the slick floors, or could potentially lose their job. I need to consider that individual before I consider myself. Odds are, I'll be fine in a few days. If not, I'll suffer through it. Life throws stuff at me sometimes. I just take it and move on. Manipulating others into fixing my problem isn't good character. Challenges make me stronger.
Disclaimer: This was not an extreme situation. Every situation has unique problems and requires unique solutions.
Here's a quick play-by-play. I was upstairs with some new friends shooting a photo shoot for a Vida marketing campaign. I realized I left my keys, credit card and ID with my boyfriend Allen as he dropped me off earlier that evening. (Parking is an arm and a leg at the EpiCentre for those unfamiliar.) After hurrying down the stairs and landing on the last step, I lost my footing. Legs, arms, dress and hair all flew into the air and swiftly landed with a not-so-graceful thud on the floor.
Waiters rushed to help. People turned to view the aftermath. It was awesome. I sit up and fix my hair. I'm ignoring all the "help" in hopes they will all just disappear. I stand up and carefully walk to meet Allen outside. Hips, knees, shins and elbow throbbing.
Once I get back inside and slowly advance to the taunting staircase, I notice low snickers and quiet fingers being pointed in my direction. Again, awesome. So I just run up the stairs. I now realize that there was a great risk of falling again. Fortunately, I made it up alright.
I tell some of the girls what happened. They all felt bad for me and asked if I was ok and other typical courteous remarks. Then, I get a response I wasn't expecting. "You should sue." The girl that said it was clearly joking and laughed even as she said it, but it sparked a thought in my mind.
This is the people we've become. Something happens and we immediately consider our own compensation. I'm not going to start into the typical, "America is wasting away into an evil European country" rant. It just disappointed me is all. I don't care where you live or who you are, kindness is always a good thing. Putting others first, but it sounds so simple.
It's hard to see how not demanding for compensation from a large company is putting others first. Many could argue that a large company can afford it and an individual harmed cannot. This might be true. I'm no wealthy person. If this hip ache turns into a fracture or something more serious than a bruise, I'll have trouble paying the bills for it. A large restaurant could pay up without breaking the bank.
It doesn't matter though. If I file a complaint, someone, an individual, working for this company will be buried in paperwork, blamed for the slick floors, or could potentially lose their job. I need to consider that individual before I consider myself. Odds are, I'll be fine in a few days. If not, I'll suffer through it. Life throws stuff at me sometimes. I just take it and move on. Manipulating others into fixing my problem isn't good character. Challenges make me stronger.
Disclaimer: This was not an extreme situation. Every situation has unique problems and requires unique solutions.
Of course, this is exactly what I looked like. :)
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Test Drive
I've been interested in this blogging world for a long time. I found my love for social media in college. I tried out Facebook, Twitter and YouTube. I fell in love with the connections, content and accessibility of the different outlets. Once I got out in the real world, I discovered that true social media geeks had an advantage on me. This advantage is called blogging.
I love to write. Always have. I wrote songs, poetry and short stories in elementary school. Then started (never finished) several novels once I entered high school and college. I've kept a journal. I love getting lost in my own thoughts. It's a way to remove myself from the world for a while.
One thing I never did was share my work with others. I've always thought I was decent at it. I liked my work, but there was always that fear that I was having an "American Idol" moment. Like when contestants very proudly and loudly get on TV in front of celebrities and millions of people to sing there hearts out and completely suck at it. I always wondered where their mothers were. Why did you allow your child to do that? Not cool.
Anyways, back to blogs, I was always fearful that my writing was only good in my mind like those contestants and their pitiful voices. I finally realized that social media is about confidence. If you're going to be good at it, you just have to throw yourself out there and see what people like. So here I go. Here are my first thoughts. Hope you enjoy as I start my journey in the blogging world. Don't be scared to throw constructive criticism my way. I highly encourage it. I'll be the first to admit I have no clue what I'm doing. I'll be good at this one day. You can help me get there. Fingers crossed!
I love to write. Always have. I wrote songs, poetry and short stories in elementary school. Then started (never finished) several novels once I entered high school and college. I've kept a journal. I love getting lost in my own thoughts. It's a way to remove myself from the world for a while.
One thing I never did was share my work with others. I've always thought I was decent at it. I liked my work, but there was always that fear that I was having an "American Idol" moment. Like when contestants very proudly and loudly get on TV in front of celebrities and millions of people to sing there hearts out and completely suck at it. I always wondered where their mothers were. Why did you allow your child to do that? Not cool.
Anyways, back to blogs, I was always fearful that my writing was only good in my mind like those contestants and their pitiful voices. I finally realized that social media is about confidence. If you're going to be good at it, you just have to throw yourself out there and see what people like. So here I go. Here are my first thoughts. Hope you enjoy as I start my journey in the blogging world. Don't be scared to throw constructive criticism my way. I highly encourage it. I'll be the first to admit I have no clue what I'm doing. I'll be good at this one day. You can help me get there. Fingers crossed!
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